Crazy English

Awesome post!

Just English

1. The bandage was wound around the wound.

2. The farm was used to produceproduce.

3. The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4. We must polish the Polish furniture.

5. He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7. Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9. When shot at, the dovedove into the bushes.

10. I did not object to the object.

11. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

12. The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

13. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

14. There was a row…

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Elizabeth Gomez: My Life as an Engrish to English Translator. (As performed at Story Lab at Fillet of Solo Festival, 2014.01.18)

Drinkers with Writing Problems

EG GirlUnder my covers, I laid in my dark room listening. I could hear her yelling, but being only 9 years old, I wasn’t sure what I could do. We’d been here before, my mother and I. She was struggling, screaming. I pulled the covers over me tighter, “Riiiiiiiisa!!!! Riiiiiiiisa!!! You come here, Risa!”

My eyes widened as I left my sanctuary and I slumped into the kitchen. She stood there in her polyester bathrobe with a brown phone dangling in her hand. A sense of embarrassment flushed over me because I knew what I had to do, “Yes, Mom?”

“You! You speakie to him,” my mother said in her Korean accent.

“To who?”

“To this man! He no understanding me.”

Reluctantly, I took the phone from my mother’s hand, “Hello?”

“Hi, Ma’am, I’m trying to get the account number from your mother so we can help her. Can you get…

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Support Great Causes!!!

Ariesgrl Book Reviews

Hi Everyone,

As some of you have seen, there is a new page on here titled Support a Great Cause. On the page I have listed the information for two wonderful causes. The first being World Book Night. Some of you may remember that I participated in this event last year. It is a yearly event that takes place on April 23rd, with the goal of uniting the world through books. To apply to be a book giver or to learn more about the World Book Night Organization, please click on this link: http://www.us.worldbooknight.org/ (This link is to the United States’ site, but on the home page is a link for other countries.)

The other excellent cause that I am asking you all to support is BooksForTroops. BooksForTroops is a group that can be found on Facebook. They are looking for new and gently used print (paperback or…

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Kindle Fire Give-Away

Awesome!

TheReporterandTheGirlMINUSTheSuperMan!

Would you like a free Kindle Fire so you can download and read thousands of awesome books including my very own The Reporter and The Girl novel?

book cover, the reporter and the girl, drawn book cover, interracial books, interracial couple, interracial cartoon,

a Rafflecopter giveaway
Each “follow”, “Like”, or “tweet” on the blogger’s page counts as an entry. My twitter and Facebook fan page is listed there too.

Good Luck! fall kindle fireThis is a joint AUTHOR & BLOGGER GIVEAWAY EVENT! Bloggers & Authors have joined together and each chipped in a little money towards a Kindle Fire HD 7".

 

The winner will have the option of receiving a 7″ Kindle Fire HD (US Only)

  Or $199 Amazon.com Gift Card (International)

  Or $199 in Paypal Cash (International)

    Fall Sponsoring Authors & Bloggers

  1. I Am A Reader, Not A Writer

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Lost Little Girl…

ann johnson-murphree

I do not know if you are alive or dead.

I see your face your voice never

forgotten.

The sun does not rise in the morning, nor

fade into the west without a thought of you.

I mourn; nights are sleepless and morning

eyes fill with fire.

No one more cherished, more loved, my

heart bears scars of torture.  Where are you

“my lost little girl”?

 

****

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2013.annjohnsonmurphree

 

All eBooks at the address below:

Beyond the Voices

http://www.amazon.com/Ann-Johnson-Murphree/e/B00CGBLQZO/ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_2?qid=1375763518&sr=8-2

 

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Beating Rheumatoid Arthritis

The story goes that my sister used to cry on the way home from school because all her friends had a brother or sister except for her. She complained that all she had was Risas, the dog. My father named him that because he wore a perpetual smile as a result of an injury to his mouth.

Rosa had to wait nine long years before she had a living sibling. For during that interval, the tale goes, there was one other child, stillborn, miscarried or died young, I don’t know. But I know there was one. My mother told me.

What she didn’t say was whether it was a boy or a girl. Instinct tells me it must have been a boy. Or, at least, that my mother believed it was a boy. Thus when I appeared healthy and hearty, it must have been salt in the wound.

That…

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